Capitals!
by Holy-Miracles-21
Summary: Hello. You have stumbled upon this thing, full of stories of the Capitals of the World. Join them on their adventures through life as they experience love, lost, family, and the occasional bump in the road. Who will you like, dislike, and root for in the end? The only way to find out is to read!
1. The Capital Conference

**AN**: Hi. Instead of working on something else, I make this. Yeah. *clapping*

So… this is what Hetalia would be like if there were Capitals. Please, ask any questions you'd like, and don't be afraid to submit some ideas.

Like seriously. Please submit any. My rivers usually dry out fast.

Also, I need a new title, like what the hell is that title even.

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**Warnings and Disclaimers**: I don't own anything but my OCs.

Also, this may be offensive to some people, and I'm sorry for offending you, but I won't change it. The world is offensive. And so is this show. Yet, we still watch it, don't we?

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"Alright, let's get this show on the road!" Washington yelled with enthusiasm.

_Washington, D.C. - Capital of the United States of America_

"So!" she began. She stared at the table with a concentrated look before saying, "What were we talking about again? I forgot."

"The effects of global warming?" London said with a sigh.

_London - Capital of United Kingdom, England, Britain, whatever you prefer_

"Oh, yeah!" Washington nodded, a smile plastered on her face. "Well, Brother America came up with the idea we create a hero to, like, stop the earth from heating up or whatever! I wasn't really paying attention, actually."

"I couldn't tell," London muttered darkly.

"Hey! Be nice!" Tokyo scolded her. "She's your family, after all!"

_Tokyo Metropolis - Capital of Japan_

"Be nice?" Bern said with a scowl. "What a wimpy thing to do! No doubt you've taken Mister Japan's advice! That man can't stand up for himself!"

_Bern - Capital of Switzerland_

"Hey! He so can!" Tokyo argued.

"No way, he's a total wimp, ya'know?" Bern countered. "I'm surprised he hasn't been taken over yet."

While the two continued their argument, Paris squealed. "Oh, those two are fighting again, yet their love for each other shall never cease! Eeeeh! They're like a dom/sub relationship!"

_Paris - Capital of France_

"Paris, shut up. You're not helping things," London glared at her.

"Oh, be quiet, _Londres_," Paris said, brushing her fingers through her long, curly blonde hair. "You can't make me stop talking about true love!"

"We're not in love with each other!" Tokyo and Bern yelled in unison.

"The more you deny, the more it is true!" Paris giggled.

London face-palmed. "You're like a little primary-school girl."

"Uh, can we stop arguing and get back on topic, if you would kindly do so," Beijing interrupted.

_Beijing - Capital of the People's Republic of China_

"Sure thing, Hong Kong!" Washington agreed.

"My name's not Hong Kong, I'm Beijing," she corrected.

"Oops! Sorry!"

"Be sure not to get it wrong next time, dumb blonde!" Moscow yelled at her.

_Moscow - Capital of Russia_

Moscow proceeded to cuddle Beijing. The Chinese girl sighed.

"Dumb blonde?" Washington yelled. "I'll have you know my IQ is, like, 89!"

"That's bad," Beijing informed her.

"No it's not! IQ means Idiot Quiz!"

The Chinese girl sighed again.

"Hey, Moscow," Madrid said, staying at a safe distance, "why don't you try to reason with everyone here? You'll scare them straight!"

_Madrid - Capital of the Kingdom of Spain_

"Nah! Too much work!" Moscow gave a high-pitched laugh. "Besides, I'm waiting for Latvia and Lithuania to have trouble that Big Brother Russia will have to fix and then I'll have to do a lot of paperwork. I hope you're happy, Riga and Vilnius!"

"I'm sorry!" Vilnius squeaked.

Riga was too busy hiding from Minsk to pay attention.

_Vilnius - Capital of the Republic of Lithuania_

_Riga - Capital of the Republic of Latvia_

_Minsk - Capital of the Republic of Belarus_

"Hey, you can stop scaring them, Moscow!" Tallinn yelled at her. The Russian girl stared at her, unblinking, and the other gave a terrified yelp before hiding under the table.

"I agree!" Warsaw declared. "If you don't leave Vilnius alone, I'll cut you!"

_Tallinn - Capital of the Republic of Estonia_

_Warsaw - Capital of the Republic of Poland_

Through the midst of all the arguing and terrified squeaks, Athens somehow managed to fall asleep on her chair, a small snot bubble getting bigger every time she snored.

_Athens - Capital of the Hellenic Republic_

And through the midst of the aforementioned problems, Berlin was getting a pounding headache. As if these Capitals could act mature for a second! Did their Countries not know just how to teach them manners? Were other cultures unable to have manners? Or were these people just idiotic?

_Berlin - Capital of the Federal Republic of Germany_

She was going with the last one.

Clenching her fists, Berlin stood up and shouted, "Everyone! Shut up! I can't even hear myself think!"

Capitals quickly sat back down in their respective chairs, some shivering, others mumbling darkly under their breath. While it was well known that the German siblings had short tempers, it was still pretty terrifying when they were the target of said rage.

"Alright," Berlin sighed. "Since we seem to not be able to act like mature adults, we will follow a simple set of rules. Everyone gets the chance to say something for eight minutes, and do not waste any time. No snide remarks or any side conversations. Who would like to go first?"

Venice raised her hand.

_Venice - Capital of the Northern Republic of Italy_

"Yes, Venice?" Berlin said.

Venice smiled. "As _Fratello Italia _would have said best… Pasta~!"


	2. Tokyo's Documentary - Pt 1

**AN**: Before you freak out about Tokyo not being calm like Japan, let me say this; I won't make them like their Capitals exactly, because everyone has different characteristics. Plus, there are some stereotypes about people in a certain place - people in Tokyo are wild and love anime, people in Paris are all very beautiful and proud, and so on. Also, I will use stereotypes about people from countries - shy Chinese girl, lesbian Swedish chick - but I will also take the Country's personality and either take it to an extreme - Vienna, Berlin - or make it opposite - Tokyo, Riga - so yeah.

No one was going to freak out and I wrote this all for no reason, yeah?

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**_Also, I'd like to thank 59lavender for following, Einsamer Ritter for following and favouriting, and for all the people who read it and will read it now._**

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"Alright, _Oniisan_, got the camera?"

Japan held up the video recorder in his hand. Satisfied, Tokyo crawled towards the window of the house that belonged to London and England.

"Okay. Turn it on. We're going to do a documentary about the other nations," she told her brother. He did as he was told and turned on the camera. Tokyo got in front of it and smiled her ever-so-famous smile.

"_Kon'nichiwa_! Toky-chan and _Oniisan_ here, bringing you a documentary about the other nations. What do they do? Where do they go? Are they sober, drunk, or stoned while they're at it? Well, we're here to uncover those mysteries, starting with the British twins!"

Tokyo gestured for Japan to film them. He zoomed in on the two drinking tea and conversing. It would've been peaceful, if not for two quietly stalking Japanese people filming their entire conversation.

"Capital Conferences are hard," London complained. "Damn idiotic Washington and pervy Paris. Berlin's got the shortest temper ever and Venice… ugh. Not to mention Moscow's groping Beijing again. Didn't Mister China get a restraining order against her?"

England shrugged. "I dunno. But World Conferences… don't even get me started on that France. Italy… ugh. Germany's also being angry as usual. Russia scared the Baltic Capitals again. I think Belarus almost strangled Latvia. Oh, and Switzerland was pushing Japan to be a man again."

"Bern hit Tokyo with a chair because they were arguing about that."

Tokyo rubbed her arm and whispered, "Still hurts."

"How rude."

"I know, right?"

A pause.

"You know they're outside the window, right?"

"Yep."

"Dammit, how did they know?!" Tokyo whispered to Japan. He shrugged.

"We can hear you," London yelled.

"We left the window open," England said. "How come you didn't notice?"

Tokyo lifted her arm and touched the window, expecting glass but meeting nothing but air. Her eyes widened in alarm. "We've been exposed! Run!"

* * *

"Ah, Paris, no city like it, _non_?"

"_Oui_! It is truly magnificent!"

"I can't believe such beauty is in a single place!"

"Such rich history, too!"

"Have you seen the Eiffel Tower? No structure like it!"

"So many engagements on it, too. This really is the City of Love!"

At a little café table, France laughed. "Are you used to those comments about you, Paris?"

"Of course!" she replied, giggling. "I am the most beautiful city in the world! Art, culture, history - nothing like it! Plus, my complexion isn't that bad either."

We shift our focus to a table about a yard away, where the two people had menus covering their face. One had a camera in hand. He was, of course, Japan. The other was, of course, Tokyo. She placed her menu on the table and glanced at the camera. On her head was a beret and on her face was a moustache.

"Uh, Tokyo? Why are you wearing a moustache?" Japan asked.

"Everyone in France has facial hair, _Oniisan_!" Tokyo replied. The French people at the other table turned their attention on them, eavesdropping on the stalkers. "Like, seriously," Tokyo lowered her voice, "have you seen Pari-chan's upper lip? Hairy like a dog!"

"My upper lip isn't hairy, you _connard_!" Paris yelled, jumping up out of her seat.

"_Oniisan_, I think that's our queue to run!" The two jumped out of their chairs and started running, chased by a Parisian girl, followed by a Frenchman yelling at the girl to stop.


	3. Riga's Ice Cream

AN: Sorry for not updating yesterday. Bioshock Infinite marathon.

Also, I just realized I sound very bitchy in the first two chapters.

I'm not a bitch, I swear.

.w.

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**_I'd like to thank boku cracktalia for favouriting this. (Check out his fanfics, they will bring tears to your eyes.) I'd also like to thank the people who have read and will read now._**

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"But Big Brother Latvia, I can't wait! I want ice cream noooooooooooow!"

"Sorry, Riga, you're just going to have to wait."

"But whyyyyyyyyyyyy?"

"You're going to just have to deal with it. Now, please behave yourself, we're here."

"Yeah, and now we have to wait forever!"

"Oh, come on, it's only ten minutes."

Riga was not happy. She was promised ice cream if she did her taxes, kept her room clean, and didn't kill any bugs for a whole week. Well, she did those things, and now, she had to wait. No, that wasn't fair! She had plenty of experiments to run on the bugs trapped in the cages in her room, but she didn't do anything, and then she had to do math, and then she had to keep her room clean, and now she had to wait? Someone, please explain how this is fair!

…

Hold on a second.

Oh. She had a plan.

A very… devious plan.

* * *

"Big Sister Washington~!"

Washington glanced down at Riga, who smiled up at her. Washington couldn't help but smile back and say, "Hello, Riga. What can I do for you, sweetie?"

Riga glanced down at the floor. "I have something bad to tell you."

Her smile faded. "Oh, really? What is it? You can tell me anything."

The Latvian girl looked back up. "Well, I hate to talk behind anyone's back, but… I overheard Big Sister Beijing say you were a bad thing."

Washington looked confused. "What? Really? What did she say I am?"

"She said you were… you were a… slut."

The American girl gasped. "Me? Did she really, truly, actually say that?!"

Riga nodded. "Yes! I wouldn't make this up. It was so horrible I just had to tell you. I don't like it whenever someone says something bad about another person! It's not very nice!"

"Oh, I'm so sorry you had to hear that, Riga. You should go find Mister Latvia and stay close to him. There's not a lot of good people in the world, you know. It's very dangerous, even in this environment."

"I will, Big Sister Washington. Just please don't be mad at me for tattling on Big Sister Beijing."

"I'm not mad. Just be sure never to call another person that, alright?"

Riga nodded, said goodbye, and walked away. As soon as she was out of earshot, she giggled to herself.

* * *

"Big Sister Beijing~!"

Beijing turned away from the argument Bangkok and Taipei were having to glance down at little Riga, who smiled up at her. Beijing smiled back.

"Miss Riga, is there something you need? I hope you don't mind, but I'm kind of a little busy right now. But I'll take care of it as soon as possible."

Riga nodded. "Oh, it won't take long. I just came to tell you that Big Sister Washington called you a… masochist, I think is what she said."

Beijing's eyes widened and her face turned pale. "Miss Washington said that? Really?"

"Yes! I wouldn't make any of this up. Also, what's a masochist?"

"Oh! It's, uh, nothing! Just a very bad thing. Well, not really, it's all personal preference. I don't really like it, but some people do. I mean, they're not bad or anything, just confused, I guess. Well, not really confused, I don't mean to make any judgments based on one thing I know about them, I bet they're really good people on the inside, just-"

"I'm going to go now," Riga interrupted.

"Oh, of course," Beijing smiled. "Be sure to stay close to Mister Latvia, okay? There are too many bad people in the world, some of them in this very room. I wouldn't want someone as sweet as you to get hurt."

"I will, Big Sister Beijing! And don't be mad at me for telling you about Big Sister Washington."

"I'm not mad at you. Who could ever be mad at such a sweet, little girl?"

Riga giggled, said goodbye, and walked away. As soon as she was out of earshot, she laughed at how innocent Beijing was.

* * *

So, along Riga went, spreading rumours about one Capital to the next. And, just to name a few…

She told Paris that London said she was only in it for lust, and she told London that Paris said she did "special service" for her. She told Budapest that Tallinn said Hungary was an idiot and she told Tallinn that Budapest said that Estonia was extremely wimpy. She told Venice that Berlin had sexual fantasies about her and told Berlin that Venice said she touched her… sexually. She told Helsinki that Warsaw said she was a total loon and couldn't tell a turtle from a frog, and she told Warsaw that Helsinki tapped Vilnius. She told Tokyo that Madrid thought she was stupid, and told Madrid that Tokyo said she had drugs in her bra and shared if you reached in to get it. And, last but certainly not the least, she told Seoul that Moscow thought she was a baby, and she told Moscow that Seoul said she would spread her legs to everyone.

Needless to say, it was a very tense meeting.

"So," Washington started, "does anyone have anything to say, besides something behind someone's back?" She glared at Beijing, who glared right back.

"Does anyone have anything to say that doesn't include something sexual?" Venice asked, glancing at Berlin, who scoffed.

"How about something that doesn't hurt a person's reputation?" Paris sniffled, hinting that she had been crying before the meeting was called to an order.

"Oh, and something that doesn't allow people to freely grope them?" Madrid glared at Tokyo. Florence did the 'I'm watching you' finger movements at the Japanese girl, who stuck her tongue out at them.

Just to add fuel to the fire, Riga said, "I have a feeling people aren't getting along. Why can't we just all be friends?!" She started fake-crying.

"Do you see what you did, Tallinn?!" Budapest yelled at the Estonian girl. "You made Riga repeat the terrible thing you said and now she's crying!"

"Me?" Tallinn yelled right back at him. "What about you?! You stupid idiot!"

"Oh, I've been wanting to call Moscow that all day!" Seoul exclaimed, looking relieved. Moscow looked offended.

Soon, the room filled with Capitals screaming at each other. Brother against brother (Minsk and Kiev, still looking like the gay couple we all know they are), sister against sister (Copenhagen and Oslo, still looking like the lesbian couple we all know they are), even lover against lover (deny it all you want, Brussels, we all know you have a thing for Bretagne!).

Riga sat in the middle of it all, looking directly in front of her, a smile playing at her lips as chaos swirled around her. Ah, yes, such a beautiful sight. It was hilarious, especially since everyone had gone to their native tongue.

"Me? A slut?! Just who do you think you're talking to, Beijing?"

"_Ni zěnme gan shuō wo xihuan tòngku, ni zhège xiao biao zi_!"

"Bloody hell, Paris! Stop spreading rumours I did "special service" for you!"

"_Vas te faire encule, salope_!"

"_Was zum Teufel, Venedig? Ich habe nie etwas zu Sie_!"

"_Smettere di avere fantasie sessuali su di me_!"

"_Senkin kusipää_!"

"_Dotknij Wilno ponownie i będę uboju ty_!"

"_Sitapea_!"

"_Te ribanc_!"

"_Watashi wa orokade wa nai yo! Anata o fakku_!"

"_Yo no tengo ningún droga en mi sujetador_! _Deja de mentir, puta_!"

"_Perestan' govorit' vykladyvayu moi nogi dlya vsekh_!"

"_Manghal nyeon_! _Changnyeo_! _Saegnyeo_! _Naneun agiga anieyo_!"

Needless to say, it was glorious.

The noise must've alerted the Countries next door, as the door opened and in popped the head of Germany. He backed out and closed the door to avoid a flying chair (probably thrown by Bern), and opened it again. He seemed rather pissed off and slightly scared.

Riga smiled and hummed as she walked by the chaos. She walked up to him and said, "Hello! May I please go through?"

"Oh, certainly." He moved out of the way and she walked on by, giving a polite 'thank you'. She continued on, noticing how some of the other Countries had followed Germany and were standing farther away. Of course, the wimpier ones were in the back, shivering. Estonia, Lithuania, and Latvia were in that area.

Riga smiled at them. "Hello, Big Brothers!"

"Riga!" Latvia exclaimed. "What are you doing out here?! Aren't you inside, yelling at everyone like the other Capitals?"

She just laughed and wrapped her hand around his. Then, giving her best puppy-dog eyes, Riga stared up at him, fluttering those long eyelashes, and asked, "Can we go get ice cream now?"

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I don't normally post translations (it's like a treasure hunt to find out what they mean, after all), but for this one, I'll translate it for you.

Translations:

_English_

Chinese: How dare you say I love pain, you little bitch!

_English_

French: Fuck you, bitch!

German: What the hell, Venice?! I never did anything to you!

Italian: Stop having sexual fantasies about me!

Finnish: You son of a bitch!

Polish: Touch Vilnius again and I'll slaughter you!

Estonian: Asshole!

Hungarian: You bitch!

Japanese: I am not stupid! Fuck you!

Spanish: I do not have any drugs in my bra! Stop lying, you whore!

Russian: Stop saying I spread my legs for everyone!

Korean: Bitch! Whore! Slut! I'm not a baby!


	4. Beijing's Secret Crush

**AN:** I should just change my update day to Monday, Jesus grits.

Sorry for not updating yesterday, my sister came home from surgery yesterday and I was very happy about that. :D

Anyway, yes, Beijing has a series of chapters. We will finish that, do another thing with Tokyo's documentary, finish the Peloponnesian War, and then it's back to your regularly scheduled programming. :D

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China sat on his couch, a cup of herbal tea in hand. At this time of the mornings, he expected Beijing to already be awake with both of their drinks ready. He wasn't worried about it, though. She was strong enough to be able to handle her own problems, big or small-

Suddenly, a scream shook the entire house. He knew instantly who it was.

He set the tea on the table (he wasn't going to mess up his couch, even if it was a burglar or Moscow), and ran as fast as he could to Beijing's bedroom. He pushed open the door and looked for signs of blood, a struggle, fingerprints, glass…

But that wasn't the case.

Beijing was alright, albeit looking a little worried. Her room was a different story; it looked like a tornado had passed through. Paintings were off the wall, her bed was lopsided, her sheets were thrown across the room, her closet was bare with all the clothes on the floor, her books were all piled on top of the said clothes, and right now, she was looking at every single cover like her life depended on it.

"Beijing! What's wrong?" China asked. She looked up.

"Oh, s-sorry, Mister C-China!" she stuttered. "N-Nothing is wrong! I'm f-fine! Um, you c-can go b-back downstairs, I'll b-be there in a m-minute to make some b-breakfast!" She gave him her best smile.

Shrugging, China turned around and headed back to where he was. Beijing waited a few moments before sighing. Where had her diary gone?

* * *

"Beiji-chan's diary?"

"Berlin, why do you have that?"

"Hey! I'm the only one allowed to snoop through my wife's stuff!"

"She isn't even your wife."

"Shut up, dumb blonde!"

"I thought that was my nickname."

"Ve~ I thought I had the dumb girl nickname!"

Berlin slammed the book on the table, making everyone become quiet. She opened the cover page, and started to flip through it, explaining exactly why they were there.

"You see," she said, "Hanoi hired us to look through Beijing's diary and figure out who she… um… longs for."

"Huh?" Washington asked.

"Who captivates her life?"

Paris shook her head.

"Who makes her feel like she's floating?"

"You're going to have to be more specific," Moscow told Berlin.

"Oh, for crying out loud, she means to say we're supposed to find who Beijing likes!" London yelled.

"Oh," the others said in understanding. London face-palmed.

Berlin kept flipping the pages. "Anyway, Hanoi said that Beijing seems a little sad nowadays, with all of the Asian Capitals and Countries all grown up now and the fact that Moscow has been stalking her none-stop."

"Hey!"

"So, basically, we have to find someone who would be willing to go on a date with Miss I'm-So-Innocent?" Paris asked. "That will be kind of hard. Beijing's a nice girl, so she's venerable to sadistic men, or women, we don't know her preferences and I'm a no-judging kind of person when it comes to love."

"Exactly!" Moscow exclaimed. "Me and Li-Li are perfect for each other! She loves me and I love her and like hell I'm going to let someone go on a date with her!"

"Why'd we invite her again?" London asked.

"Hanoi said to have Moscow here so that she will finally understand Beijing doesn't like her that way… or at all," Berlin explained.

"Ve~ I think a nice, calm person would work well with her!" Venice said happily. "Someone who likes tea, and flowers, and sticking to their culture like their life depends on it!"

"Oh, and someone who is kind of quiet and won't boss her around!" Tokyo added. "Beiji-chan deserves someone who will listen to her opinion! I know that when she raised me and _Oniisan_, no one really listened to her."

"Aha! I found it!" Berlin exclaimed. She began to read the passage.

_Oh, my heart flutters like that of a butterfly's wings! Diary, do you know what happened today? Only the best thing that could ever have happened to me!  
Today, diary, I was at the Capital Conference, waiting in the hall for it to begin. You know, the same one with all the Countries and such? The one where Taipei and Hong Kong kissed each other on a dare and Tokyo had a major nosebleed? Yes, that one._

Everyone turned to look at Tokyo, who was beet red.

_Well, I was sick today, and Mister China wanted me to stay home. I declined, however; it is my job as a Capital to be there to help the world, and a little sniffling and coughing wasn't going to stop me._

"So that's how I got sick!" Washington exclaimed. "I thought it was because I accidentally ate British food."

"…thanks, Washington," London said, crossing her arms and pouting like a little kid.

_Me and Mister China made a compromise; I would bring a handkerchief - the tissues at the meetings are non existent, as according to those money-savers in the world (like Mister China), they cost too much - to blow my nose in, as it was very messy to just sneeze into my arm or hands._

_Now, I wasn't sneezing that bad nor did I have to blow my nose, and because my traditional outfit unfortunately doesn't have pockets, I just held my handkerchief in my hand. Venice-_

"Ve~ It's me!" she cheered.

_-being the annoying Capital she is-_

"That's mean!" she complained.

_-ran into me. I didn't fall over, but my handkerchief was sent flying into the air. I ran after it._

"That day, I thought she was being chased by Moscow," Paris said.

"So did I!" Moscow exclaimed. "Well, not by me, but by the thought of me. Oh, I love it when people run away~! It makes it all that much more fun to catch them~!"

_On it flew, until finally… he caught it._

_He caught it, in his perfect, porcelain hand. Then, it seemed as time had stopped. Just like in those romantic Animes Tokyo likes to watch, everything got pink and sparkly and wind came out of no where, even though we were inside. It was probably due to the air conditioner, and it was very cold. I need to go complain about that._

_Oh, and do you know what he said diary?_

_Are you prepared?_

_He said… he said…_

_Okay, this is what he said;_

_"You should be more careful, Beijing-san."_

Everyone in the room gasped. Except for Washington, as she was staring off into space with a dazed expression.

"Beijing…" Moscow wheezed, like she had been shot.

"Has a crush…" Paris continued, almost fainting.

"On my brother?!" Tokyo practically screamed.


	5. Beijing's Not So Secret Crush

**AN**: Guys. I just realized that Ancient Greece was Greece's mother. Now I have to go rewrite the fourth chapter to make it accurate. AUTHORESS, AWAY~!

BUUUUUUUUUUT, before I do that, when does Ancient Greece become, well, Greece? I mean, I don't understand the timeline. Is it after the fall of Macedonia or the Romans? Or some other time? Is there even a set time? I DON'T KNOW.

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_**I'd like to thank Jetfire Skyfire for favouriting and UmiNight Angel Neko for favouriting and following. I'd also like to thank those who have read and will read it now.**_

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Where we last left off, the seven Capitals all learned that Beijing had a crush on - _gasp_ - Japan!

* * *

"Japan?!" Tokyo yelled in disbelief. "How could she like Japan - my own brother! _My_ _Oniisan_! Not hers, _mine_!"

"How could she like Mister Japan?!" Moscow yelled. She sounded pained and in misery, like a dying animal. Or like a heartbroken Russian girl. "I have more of a relationship with her, and all I did was stalk her and take some things out of her trash!"

"Actually, they do have a relationship," London said. "Mister China and Beijing found Mister Japan as a child and raised him until he became a Country and earned his first Capital - Edo."

"Oh, shut up about Edo!" Tokyo yelled, covering her ears. "I hate that girl! And I hate this whole stupid thing! _Oniisan_ and Beijing don't belong together! Plus, she can't date him, she's waaaaaay older! It's called pedophilia!"

Berlin raised a finger. "Actually, we don't technically have ages-"

"Oh, shut up, Berlin, you think I care about facts right now?!" Tokyo yelled. Berlin raised her arms in defeat.

Paris sighed. "What are we going to do now? Beijing can't date and marry Mister Japan - she's a Capital, he's a Country, and I personally thought she was a lesbian."

"Which is why she should love me!" Moscow yelled.

"Can it, Moscow!" Tokyo yelled, shutting her up. "I just can't believe she actually loves my _Oniisan_! This is the stupidest fiasco ever!"

"Well, what can we do?" London asked. "It's not like we can make someone stop loving another person. You see what comes of it. Examples like _Romeo and Juliet_-"

"Ve~ Based on a tale from Italy!"

"-_The Hunger Games_-"

"A rip-off of _Battle Royale_!"

"-the wretched _Twilight_ series-"

"I liked it!"

"-a lot of things."

The seven Capitals all stood in silence for a few minutes. What were they going to do? They liked Beijing and wanted her to be happy, but they knew they couldn't just set her up with Mister Japan and expect things to be alright. Why was love so hard and a popular problem to have people set in?

"Wait!" Tokyo exclaimed. "I have an answer! We will set _Oniisan_ and Beiji-chan up on a date!"  
"Good for you, Tokyo," Berlin congratulated her. "You just have to learn to share your brother-"

"And when the date ends, Beiji-chan will see _Oniisan_ doesn't love her!" Tokyo declared. "He loves me, and that's all!"

"Way to be humble," London muttered. Berlin sighed.

A door opened and Taipei stood at the top of the stairs with a laundry basket in hand. Raising an eyebrow, he asked, "What are you all doing in my laundry room?"

* * *

Beijing stepped out of the store, a bag of groceries in hand. It was a lovely day, the perfect day to make some _dàn huā tāng_ for lunch. Ah, yes, nothing could ruin this for her, not even Moscow or Taipei or-

"Beijing~! Beijing~!"

Beijing turned around to see Seoul running towards her. The little Korean girl stopped in front of her, but was trying hard to regain her breath. She held up her index finger in a 'wait' gesture.

"Miss Seoul, please make this quick," Beijing said. "I have to get back home and make lunch. Mister China will-"

"Oh, forget about Mister China for a second, da-ze~!" Seoul jumped up and smiled. "Hey, how about you take some time off? Maybe go to a spa, maybe have a nice outing with your friends, maybe go on a date with Mister Japan at a nice restaurant, maybe go shopping-"

"Wait, what did you say?" Beijing asked.

"I said go shopping."

"No. Before that."

"Oh! A date with Mister Japan, da-ze~! You know, dates were invented in South Korea."

Beijing was blushing beet red. So, Seoul was the one who stole her diary. How did she even get in there? The only person who had visited was Berlin, who simply came over to ask how to keep flowers from wilting after two weeks.

"So, will you go?" Seoul asked. "Oh, and you'll be in a restaurant in Taiwan, since you two are from way different places in the world. The country of Japan will be alright, because Tokyo will be there, probably watching some _Death Note _and imagining your death. So, what do you say, da-ze~?"

Beijing shrugged. "I don't know. I really don't want to hurt Miss Tokyo's feelings, and I don't want to drive a wedge between her and Mister Japan's relationship. Besides, it's not right for me to date a Country, so we really shouldn't do this."

She turned and tried to walk away. Seoul wouldn't take this answer. She started walking after her.

"Well, why not?" she asked. "You work way too hard, so why not have a little fun with a guy who would totally be perfect for you, da-ze~? You both like… quietness. Yeah, quietness. And flowers, flowers are good. Traditions. Um, you both don't like _Oppa_, I think. What about tea? Do Japanese even drink tea? I need to ask Tokyo that. She probably told me already and I forgot, da-ze. Anyway, go on a date with Mister Japan, please! It'll be fun, da-ze~!"

"Fine, Seoul, I'll go on the date. Just don't follow me home. Again," Beijing said, a little edgy. She didn't even call Seoul 'Miss'. That's about the point of her anger.

"Yay!" Seoul cheered. "You won't regret it! Now, all we have to do is tell Mister Japan he's going on a date and tell Miss Taiwan we're going to use one of her restaurants!"

She ran off, almost tripping over her clothes.

Beijing sighed. So, now she was going on a date that wasn't even prepared. Great. Well, this really ruined her _dàn huā tāng_ mood.


	6. Beijing's Not So Super Cool Date

**AN**: Happy Mother's Day~! Shout out to my mom and my step-mom, they're always there for me and SUPER DUPER AWESOME!

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**_I'd like to thank TooMuchSarcasm for reviewing and favouriting (don't know if this is sarcasm or you're actually serious, TooMuchSarcasm), Weapon Frayer for favouriting and following, .1 for favouriting and following, and a guest named Athens for reviewing!_**

* * *

Beijing looked at herself in the mirror. Her hair that used to always be loose and exactly at her chin now had a sparkly hairpiece in it, pinning back her bangs. Her normally green-and-gold outfit was replaced with a traditional Chinese red dress with golden flowers decorating the fabric. It was a nice outfit, but her feet hurt from the black one-inch heels Paris made her wear.

At least she didn't press her to wear makeup. Beijing didn't want to look like a clown. Or the Parisian girl.

She sighed. She didn't really like this outfit at all. It wasn't her - she wouldn't wear reds or heels or sparkly things. She was more… casual. Comfortable. Presentable. Not formal.

Beijing pulled the hairpiece. It slid out of her hair and into her hand. She didn't even want to go on this date. How could she let these people talk her into it? She had to stay home. It wasn't that she didn't trust China with the house, it was just that… that… that…

"You look nice."

Beijing turned to look at China, who was standing in the doorway. She blushed, saying, "Thank you. But I don't know if I want to go."

"Why not?" he asked, walking into the room. "You already agreed to it, and got all dressed up and everything. Why would you change your mind now?"

"I have things to do at home, as well. I can't just skip out on my responsibilities for a stupid date, I need-"

China grabbed his sister's wrist and held it up, taking the hair piece from her hand and letting her hand fall. Beijing blushed red as he placed it back into her hair, and ran his fingers through her bangs.

"You should go and have fun, Beijing. I'll still be here when you get back."

* * *

Beijing arrived at the restaurant. She stepped out of the car. As soon as she was nearing the place, however, South Korea walked out of the door decked out in a tuxedo and top hat, smiling.

"Welcome to _Fu Yuan_!" he greeted her. "Your table awaits, milady."

"Mister Korea?" she asked. "What are you doing here? I thought Miss Seoul said only she and Mister Hanoi were here."

"Oh, she said that? Huh. The whole lot of us are here, plus Berlin, but we hired her to keep Tokyo and Moscow from breaking into the restaurant. Anyway, let me guide you to your table, as that is what Seoul informed me to do."

The two walked into the restaurant. Korea led her to a table where a certain someone was nervously playing with his fork; Japan. Beijing sat down in a chair in front of him, while Korea promised to send the waiter out.

"Um, _ni hao_, Mister Japan," Beijing greeted him. "It's a… uh… nice restaurant, right?"

"Yes. It is."

She drummed her fingers on the table and looked at the ceiling, while Japan went back to playing with his fork. If this wasn't awkward, then I, the narrator, don't know what is.

A door opened in the back, and out came Taipei, also dressed in a tuxedo, minus the top hat. He slid up next to the table, and smiled at them, showing off his pearly whites. "Hello, I'll be your waiter this evening. What would you like to drink?"

They both ordered water. Taipei promised he'd be back in a 'jiffy' and hurried away.

"What does jiffy even mean?" Beijing wondered aloud.

Japan shrugged. "Maybe it's something Taiwanese people say. Or just Taipei. He seems like he'd say those kinds of things."

She nodded. "Mister Taipei was a weird little kid. He used to say a lot of weird things. And take a lot of pictures. Especially of cute things. Once or six times a mother punched him because he took a picture of their baby."

"I regret giving him his first camera," he said. Beijing giggled.

* * *

"Damn that Japanese fool," Moscow muttered. She watched as Taipei came back with their orders of water, and he whipped out a little notepad and began to take their food order. She scoffed.

"He doesn't know the first thing about her," she grumbled. "Li-Li deserves someone great - like me! I'll protect her and treat her right, but why won't she trust me? I know practically everything about her, even her hatred towards lamb chops and her love of calligraphy! I mean, I don't understand either one, but I'll try to; for her. Why won't Li-Li love me?"  
Moscow sighed. Then she looked around. Tokyo was no where in sight.

That was odd. They were both supposed to meet outside of the restaurant at seven-thirty, and it was now seven-forty-five… why wasn't Tokyo here? Usually Moscow was the one who didn't show up, so this was a huge surprise to her. She did the only thing she could think of; grab her cellphone and text Tokyo.

Moscow: _rinny why arent you here they already ordered their food HURRY UP_

It was five minutes later when she got a reply.

Tokyo: _What are you talking about? Their date ended five minutes ago._

Moscow: _no they just got here_

Tokyo: _What are you talking about? I ruined their date._

Moscow: _no theyre fine a little awkward but fine_

Tokyo: _Where are you?_

Moscow: _fu yuan_

Tokyo: _I'm there._

Moscow: _did you go to the one that isnt near the park?_

Tokyo: _…_

Tokyo: _Moscow._

Tokyo: _We're in different places._

Moscow: _no shit sherlock_

Tokyo: _Welp I got to skedaddle. An angry couple is coming after me. BYE!_

Moscow sighed. Sometimes to ruin a date, you have to do it yourself.

* * *

"So, you're saying that we can't have half of the things on the menu because our chef is fourteen and is afraid of using a stove?" Beijing asked.

Taipei shrugged. "Afraid so. You can't rely on Seoul to do anything."

"Couldn't you cook the food? You're a good chef."

"But cooking is hard."

Just then, the door to the kitchen opened, and out came Hanoi. He dropped to the ground on his knees and coughed out black dust. He was covered from head to toe in the same stuff, and the air from the room was filled with the little particles.

"What happened in there?" Japan asked, just as Taiwan also fell out of the room, knocked out cold.

"Fire…" Hanoi wheezed. "Stove… faulty… kitchen… blew up…"

"Oh my God!" Taipei exclaimed. "I'm going to lose the deal I got on this place! Way to go, Hanoi, you just lost me five-hundred dollars!"

He rushed towards the kitchen, stepped over Taiwan's body, and began to yell at everyone. Beijing sighed, and rested her face in her hands.

"It's not going to get any worse," Japan reassured her. "What's worse than a stove with a short circuit exploding?"

"Yeah, you're probably right," she agreed. Then, she heard commotion outside, and dared to take a peek. What she saw almost made her want to flip the table over.

Berlin was holding Moscow up by the scruff of her jacket. It was a terrible scene; they were both covered in scratches and leaves, and Moscow had a bloody nose. The Russian girl's mood was not ruined, however, and smiled, waved at Beijing, and then turned to Berlin, probably to say 'put me down'.

"It's not going to get any worse than this," Japan said, nodding.

The door to the restaurant burst open, and Konigsberg went running through. She was laughing maliciously and waved what looked like a broken violin in the air. As soon as she was in the kitchen, Vienna also ran into the restaurant, looking like she wanted to murder someone. Budapest came soon after, a rolling pin in his hands.

"I don't even want to say it," Japan said. Beijing sighed, and looked back out the window. Berlin handed Moscow, who was now whimpering and crying, over to Minsk, who was talking about marriages and some very sexual innuendo. Beijing wanted to throw the table out of the window.

Japan turned to her. "If we leave now, maybe we can catch a movie."

"And leave them all here to deal with this mess?" Beijing asked. She took a look at the burning kitchen, back to the window, where Moscow was holding onto Berlin for dear life, and then back to the kitchen, where Konigsberg was currently running back towards the front door, followed closely behind by the other two.

"Yeah, let's leave," Beijing nodded.


	7. Beijing's Date's Aftermath

**AN:** Does Norway have a human name yet? Because if he doesn't, I nominate it to be Jorgen. His 2P counterpart can be Johan.

I thought of this, as you can see.

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_**I'd like to apologize to Destiny Conway 1. I didn't notice that FF cut your name out until today. Sorry!**_

_**Also, I'd like to thank all the people that have read, and will now.**_

* * *

China sat back on his couch, staring up at the ceiling. He had to admit that he was worried about Beijing. Japan was a good person, he knew that, but still… he had to worry.

A knock on the door caused China to stand up and walk over to answer it. When he opened it, he was surprised to see Tokyo standing there, looking crestfallen.

"Hi, Mister China!" she greeted, giving him a smile, which didn't look like it did everyday. "I need you to date me."

He raised an eyebrow. "Why, aru?"

"Because it's the only way to get back at Beijing for stealing my _Oniisan_!" Tokyo yelled suddenly, scaring him. "She stole my brother, so I need to steal hers - which is you! So, please date me, Mister China! I'll call you my new _Oniisan_ if you do it!"

While the idea was tempting (the whole big brother thing, not dating her), China knew better. This was the time when he had to invite Tokyo in and give her a life lesson, like big brothers do. And since Japan was currently busy, this was his chance.

He wrapped his arms around Tokyo's shoulders and guided her inside. "I'm going to help you."

"You'll date me?!" she asked excitedly.

"No, I'm not going to date you, aru." He sat her on his couch. "How about we talk about this over some tea? Since Beijing isn't here, I'll have to make it myself, so sit tight."

When China and Tokyo both had their cups of tea, he turned to her and asked, "What seems to be the problem? Why are you so angry about the fact Beijing has taken a liking to Japan?"

"Well, it's just wrong, you know?" Tokyo said, glancing around the room. "I mean, a Capital can't date anyone, especially not a Country. I don't want her to be hurt in the end, so why elongate it, right?" She twirled a strand of black hair around her finger.

China instantly knew that she was lying. Not looking in his eyes, trying to distract herself by playing with her hair; all signs. And he said so.

"I'm not lying!" she argued, glaring at him. Scratching her nose, she said, "I really do care about Beijing and Japan, so just leave it at that, okay?"

"If you weren't lying, you would be looking me in the eye."

"…fine. I'm lying. How'd you find out?"

"When you're my age, you learn a lot of things, aru."

They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes. Then, Tokyo broke the serene silence when she set her cup on the table with a silent _clank_.

"I'm jealous," she muttered.

Those words hit China like a pound of bricks. How could she be jealous of Beijing? She practically kept a leash around Japan, so was she angry about the fact that someone took him away from her? Or maybe she just didn't even like Beijing? Or maybe it was awkward that someone wanted to date her brother?

Being a big brother was hard.

"Why, though, aru?" China asked, setting his tea on the table.

"She has a much better relationship with him!" she complained. "He's my brother, so why can she do all those things with him, huh? How come he goes out in public with her and how come he does nice things for her and how come he trusts her and how come she can stand so close to him?! It's not fair! Not fair, not fair, not fair, not fair!"

At this point, Tokyo had tears streaming down her cheeks and she was hiccupping badly. China awkwardly patted her shoulder.

Then, she wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her wet face into his chest. He rubbed her back and looked around, as if looking for an escape from this… weird predicament he found himself in.

"Uh," he started, "I'm sure Japan doesn't like Beijing more than he likes you. You're his Capital, so it's obvious that he'll, uh, love you more?"

Exactly, what was he doing? Trying to cheer her up?

Tokyo sniffled, and looked up. Her dark eyes were rimmed with tears and her usually pale complexion was red. "R-Really?"

China smiled. "Yes. I'm sure of it. It's going to be alright, aru."

"Okay." Tokyo smiled back at him.

Well, I'll be damned. It actually worked.

* * *

"I had a nice time tonight, Mister Japan."

"So did I, Beijing-san."

Beijing and Japan stood three feet away from China's door. From here, they could hear the debate he and Tokyo were having about the difference between the colour yellow and golden. He seemed to think they were different, and she thought they were the same thing.

Beijing laughed. "You know, I didn't write about you in my diary."

"I know that," he said. "Who did you write about?"

"I'd like to tell you, but I can't. I hope you don't mind, but I can keep secrets, too."

"It's okay. That's what diaries are for, correct? To keep your innermost thoughts and secrets private, and to stay private."

"Right." Beijing turned to him. "Well, I can walk myself to my house. I'll send Tokyo out so you can drive her home. Is that okay?"

"Yes," Japan replied.

She bowed slightly. "Thank you for the wonderful evening."

Beijing turned and walked to her house. Oh, yes, she didn't write about Mister Japan - she wasn't that stupid. No, she changed the person's dialogue in the event that someone did end up in possession of her diary.

Now, who did she write about?

Me, the narrator, would like to tell you, but I can't. Actually, I can, but I prefer to watch people suffer and make up theories. Yay annoying narrators~!


	8. The Case of the Missing Jewelry - Pt 1

**AN**: Sorry for not updating last week. I moved into a new house and dropped a box on my newly-healed toe. I didn't feel like writing the whole week (which was filled with more moving, heated parent arguments, a sort of lost cat, returning textbooks, and a major math quiz). I was _that _exhausted.

Also, I know I promised a Tokyo Documentary and a Peloponnesian War, but I need to do some major research for both and I didn't have much time this week.

So sorry.

Also, some human names in here, yeahyeah.

Oh, and I finally deleted that old Greece and Athens chapter, gonna restart, yeahyeah.

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**_I'd like to thank Melza-chan for reviewing and following, LittleStreamLily132 for following, and my friend Hetalia-Fangirl-12-Diana for following, favouriting, and joining the site! I'd also like to thank all those who have read and will read now._**

* * *

London and Paris were walking by the World Meeting room, arguing about the difference between provinces and states, when a scream cut through the building. The two glanced into the room and saw Washington running around the room searching for something, while America was writhing in a corner with a pained expression on his face.

"Ow… your voice… is way too high…" he squeaked.

"Where is it?! Where is it?! _WHERE IS IT_?!" Washington screamed, tearing the whole place apart. Paris nudged London with an elbow, she glared at her, but earned another elbow to the stomach. Thanks to lots of arguments in the past, they had learned the art of silently arguing.

_Help her_, Paris said.

_No way, whatever she lost probably isn't even a big deal_, London argued.

The Frenchwoman crossed her arms. _If it wasn't a big deal she wouldn't be tearing this place up like a hurricane!_

_So what?_

_So help her!_

_No._

_Yes._

_No._

_Oui._

_Don't use French._

_Don't tell me what to do, you have no right. You won't even help your sort-of-kind-of-younger-sister!_

_Ugh, fine, I'll help. But you have to admit you cheated at the last bingo game._

_But I didn't!_

_I know, but it helps with the sting of loss- Paris, I never said that._

_I know, but I want to milk it for all it's worth._

London sighed, Paris clapped with glee, and the two walked up to Washington. London placed her hands on her shoulders, turned her around, and asked, "What's wrong?"

"Ring! MY RING!" she yelled, practically bursting everyone's eardrums with her high, squeaky-sounding voice. "SOMEONE STOLE MY RUBY RING!"

"Whoa, calm down there, _jeune fille_." Paris looked around before grabbing a paper and pen off the meeting table and returned to the two. "Alright, let's begin. Miss Aimee Jones, what exactly happened here?"

Washington took a deep breath. "Well, I helped America bring his stuff into here, and then we left. Then I realized I was missing my ring and ran back. Now, it's gone."

"Are you certain that you even put it on this morning?" London asked while Paris was writing it all down.

She nodded. "I know I did. I may be dumb, but I would remember putting on something very valuable. This ring is my life, and if I don't find it, I would literally die." She made a slice-throat gesture to exaggerate her point.

"Did you see anybody near the door while you and Mister Alfred were leaving or entering?"

Washington thought a moment. "Berlin. She was leaning against the door. I thought nothing of it until now… I mean, why would she steal something like my ring?"

London nodded. "Thank you, Miss Aimee. We will be sure to find your ring in no time flat."

"Thank you, Detective Kirkland," she replied, giggling a little.

London turned to Paris. "Alright, Bonnefoy, we've got a case to solve! Me and Iggy weren't Sherlock Holmes and John Watson for no reason!"

"You two were Holmes and Watson?!" all three yelled in surprise.

"What? We do more than sit around planning military strategies and making tea." She gestured for Paris to follow her, and the two girls left the room, ready to go and solve the case.

* * *

"Okay, so, Miss Corinna Beilschmidt is our prime suspect. She knows she is our target, and she is hiding from us… _but not for long_!" London exclaimed, cackling madly.

Paris blinked. "We should've not made the decision for you to be Sherlock. Besides, I'm too fabulous to be a sidekick." She flipped her long, flowing blonde hair for emphasis.

"Shut up, Bonnefoy. I think she's here… somewhere." London looked around carefully, looking at all the faces in the crowd of blonde people.

"Another thing. Just call me Paris, or even Adele, just not Bonnefoy. We're not in a war, and I refuse to be called by my last name!" She stomped one of her pink heels, like a little fussy baby who wasn't given what she wanted.

London suddenly laughed with glee. "Yes! We've got her now! Say goodbye to your precious getaway, Beilschmidt!" She carefully walked over to the wall, ninja'd her way over a corner, and slid into the crowd of blonde people. After bumping into and apologizing to many people, she finally caught sight of Berlin again.

"I'm just saying, we should just leave the polar ice caps alone!" Berlin complained. Germany, who was probably pretending to listen to her rant, nodded. As she continued talking, London snuck in between the two.

"Sorry, Mister Germany, but I'm going to have to borrow this… er, her," London said. Before she even got a reply, she dragged Berlin away from the crowd and into the World Meeting room.

* * *

"Alright, Beilschmidt, we know what you're hiding, so cough up the ring and nobody gets hurt!" London yelled. The room was dark (mostly because the window blinds were closed, as well as the door, and the lights were off), and Paris held up a lamp to the German girl's scowling face.

"What are you even talking about? I've never even heard of a ring up until this point," she argued.

Paris turned to London. "I told you! This is a waste of time; Berlin wouldn't steal anything, she knows better! Hey, where's my bracelet?"

The Frenchwoman held up her wrist, which was usually adorned with a golden chain bracelet. Now, it was bare as tree stump.

"No! First Washington's ring, now my bracelet?! Oh, France gave it to me for my birthday, and I lost it! He's going to kill me for this!"

Berlin pointed at her in a lazy fashion. "See? If I was on a thieving frenzy, I couldn't have stolen Washington's ring or Paris's bracelet; they were both wearing it at the time, right? So, only a master thief with an ability to tell real from fake could've taken their jewelry."

London bit her index finger. "Gah! Who's able to tell real jewels from fake?"

"Beats me," Berlin shrugged. "But I'll tell you what I did see while I was near the door. I saw Mister Latvia and Riga walk into the meeting room, then Germany called me, and I left. Sorry, but that's all the info I can give."

Paris nodded, a look of distress on her face. "Alright. We'll have to talk to Mister Latvia and Riga, then."

Berlin stood up, shook hands with London, and turned to walk away. Before opening the door, she looked at her wrist, and gasped.

"My watch! I thought I had it on before I walked into here…" Berlin shook her head, opened the door, and closed it.

London tapped her chin. "So, we have three missing items; Washington's ruby ring, your gold chain bracelet, and Berlin's silver watch. All made of real metals and gems. What's going on here?"

"The only way to find out is to find Mister Latvia and Riga. Maybe then we'll get some answers." Paris and London glanced at each other, before each nodded, and walked out of the room.

* * *

"Alright, Mister Raivis and Miss Beatrise Galante, we know your little game of cutesy wootsey, and remember, it's not going to work in here!" London yelled, Paris holding the same lamp up to their faces.

Latvia squirmed in his seat. "I-I have no idea what you're talking about!"

Riga smiled, swinging her legs back and forth. "Big Sisters London and Paris, can you please tell us why we're here?"

"You know exactly why you're here!" London yelled, making Latvia cry and Riga to glare at her for a second, but looking at her smiling face, the two just figured it was the work of the lamp.

Paris patted London's shoulder. "Poppy just means to say that we're trying to solve the case of the missing jewelry, sweetheart. Oh, but how could we have suspected such a cute and innocent little girl?"

"Thank you, Big Sister Paris!" Riga giggled. "We don't have anything to do with it, so can we just go now?"

Before Paris could say yes, London hit her in the stomach, making the Frenchwoman gasped and fall to the floor. London leaned in close to Riga and Latvia's face, a stone cold expression giving her a creepy aura.

"I said your cute act wasn't going to work this time, Miss Beatrise."

Riga's smiling face faded. "Cute… act?"

London had her now. "Your cute act has never worked on me. I could see the vile, evilness within… you're nothing more than a cowardly criminal with a pretty face, aren't you?"

Riga did nothing, and London seriously thought she broke her, until the Latvian girl's lip quivered and tears came leaking out of her eyes. She seemed to be trying to blink them away, but they kept coming, until her whole body started shaking from sobs and she sniffled and whimpered.

"I didn't do anything!" Riga yelled. "I swear I didn't do anything! I'm a nice girl, and I try to be nice, and I try not to do anything wrong, and I… I… I…" She covered her face with petite hands and cried miserably. "I saw B-Big Brother Finland and Big S-Sister H-Helsinki walk in here a-after me and Big Brother Latvia! I-I swear t-that I'm telling the truth, I s-swear!"

Paris stood back up, one hand clenching her aching stomach. "Alright, Riga and Mister Latvia, you can go. We're sorry for giving you a hard time."

Latvia carefully peeled one hand off of his sister's face and grabbed it, helping her to stand up and walk out of the door. He promised to buy her ice cream to make up for all the stress and mean girls.

London smiled, putting her hands on her hips. "I think that went well."

Paris stared at her for a few seconds. She suddenly bitch-slapped London across the mouth so hard, the British woman fell onto the table and sank to the floor.


	9. The Case of the Missing Jewelry - Pt 2

**AN**: Just trying out something if it doesn't show up don't worry about it:

* * *

"Alright, Ieva and Tino, we know what you did, so start talking!"

Helsinki tilted her head. "Um… what did we do, exactly?"

London and Paris were at it again, still trying to figure out the mystery of the missing jewelry pieces. So far gone; a ring, a bracelet, and a watch. The newest clue they had gotten was from Riga, who had told them that Helsinki and Finland had walked into the meeting room right after she and Latvia left. So, it had to be the Fins, right? No one can trust those innocent-looking Fins.

Paris crossed her arms. "We think that you might've stolen some prized jewelry pieces from different people."

"We think?!" London yelled, glaring at her. "We know! There can't possibly be a way for it not to be them! They don't have an alibi!" London paused and glanced down at the two. "…you don't have an alibi, right?"

Finland shrugged. "If we told you, you probably wouldn't believe us anyway."

"Please tell us your alibi. And be honest. We want to catch the real criminal, not lock up an innocent." Paris glared at London. "At least, most of us."

"Okay, so, it went like this." Helsinki spread her hands in a 'listen up' gesture. "Me and Finny had just arrived, and we needed to set his stuff in the meeting room, like any other person. We entered as soon as Riga and Mister Latvia left, exchanging hellos and good mornings."

"Then Norway and Oslo showed up," Finland continued. "They were arguing, and Oslo looked like she wanted to punch him, and she eventually did, so we had to stop the fight before someone got seriously injured. And while we were doing that, Venice had stepped in, carrying Italy's stuff."

"And then, we saw Venice slip something into her pocket and walk away," Helsinki finished. "We thought it was an eraser or something, but now that I think about it, it looked like a red ring."

London nodded. "It's always the innocent ones. You two can go. I think we've finally found our criminal."

Helsinki and Finland stood up, heading to the door. Helsinki stopped. She gasped. "My pearl necklace! I only wear it on special occasions… why did I have to wear it today, and then lose it? What am I going to say to Stockholm? It must've cost a lot!"

* * *

"WAAAAAAAAAH! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!"

"Venice, we haven't accused you of anything."

"Oh."

London sat in a chair, her face in her hands, while Paris leaned against the back of her chair and crossed her arms. Venice was crying loudly, annoying the two and probably anyone who was unlucky enough to be standing on the other side of the room.

"So, Rosa… if that's even your real name!" London yelled.

"AH! It is my real name, I swear it is!" Venice whimpered, crying even louder.

Paris groaned. "Why are we even accusing Venice? She doesn't have the heart to steal, nor would she be able to steal something from right under our noses, and she can't even tell the difference between wool and cashmere!"

"I know," London nodded. "But I can tell, that underneath that mask of ditzy looks and two red pigtails… lies a _monster_."

Venice cried even harder.

"Hey, Poppy, you wanna know something?" Paris asked. "There's this new thing, it's called having a heart. You should try it some time, it does the soul wonders."

London stared at the Italian, who moved a strand of hair behind her ear. "I do have a heart. Sometimes, though, it gets frozen from the cold air of when you apply perfume. By the way, coconut does not smell good. Just a head's up for the future."

Paris clenched and unclenched her hand, as if getting warmed up for a good, hard punch. London turned back to Venice, demanding answers and for her to shut up and be quiet.

Venice sniffled, and moved a bright strand of hair behind her ear. "I-I swear I don't know anything! I'm being framed! I didn't do it! I didn't steal anything! Please don't arrest me and put me in jail for no reason! I have relatives in England, they'll disown me! PLEASE DON'T PUT ME IN JAIL AND MAKE ME EAT BRITISH FOOD!"

The door to the room opened and in popped the head of Madrid. She blushed and said, "Oh, sorry, are you guys busy in here? I just came in to see if I left my pen… it's really expensive, and if I lost it, I'm out two-hundred and fifty dollars. Oh, and _hola_, Venice. I thought you said you weren't coming today?"

"I… changed my mind, yeah," Venice nodded, moving a bright strand of hair behind her ear. She turned to London and Paris. "Can I please go now? The meetings are going to start in seven minutes. I still haven't got everything I need!"

"Fine, go." London shooed her off. She watched as the Italian girl walked out of the door and slipped into a crowd of blondes, the red hair looking like a sinking ship in the middle of an ocean. Madrid walked into the room, searching for her lost pen, and muttering things like "Expensive" and "Why did I buy such an expensive pen?" and "It wasn't even that good of a pen".

London held her face in her hands. Now, she and Paris were stuck. They went through all the suspects they had - Berlin, Riga, Latvia, Helsinki, Finland, and Venice - but yet, came up empty. How could she, the _actual_ John Watson, not figure it out? It must be a Country or Capital that is from a place with a high crime rate… but there could be hundreds of those, and she only had six minutes to find out before the criminal got away clean! She sat there, thinking over all the clues they had found out, which wasn't a lot…

Berlin had been leaning against the wall, waiting for Germany. She saw America and Washington enter, then leave. She saw Riga and Latvia enter, and that was when Germany had finally gotten finished with whatever he had been doing.

Next, they broke Riga down into telling that Helsinki and Finland had entered as soon as they had left.

Then, Helsinki and Finland said that Norway and Oslo got into a fight and they saw Venice sneak something into her pocket.

Last, Venice had cried and swore up and down that she didn't steal anything. She…

Wait a moment.

London jumped up, startling Paris and Madrid. The British woman laughed with glee, out of her funk as fast as she had sank into it. She yelled at Paris to gather everyone into the room, and began to set up what she needed to finally catch the criminal.

* * *

"Thank you all for coming!" London yelled, standing on top of the table and pacing. "I know some of you have no idea what's going on, but some of you do. Basically, there is a thief among our ranks who has stolen five things today - Washington's ruby ring, Paris's golden bracelet, Berlin's silver watch, Helsinki's pearl necklace, and Madrid's two-hundred-and-fifty dollar ballpoint pen."

Mutters broke out in the crowd, some confused, some angry, and some telling everyone to shut up. They died down, and London continued.

"We interviewed all that was related to the case. In the end, none of that really helped us… except for the last interviewee." London waited for the mutters to die down again. "What we learned from her was that our criminal… was in disguise."

Shock thundered through the room. Disguise? Who could you disguise as? That couldn't be possible, right? It shouldn't be! Yet, there were too many people to actually notice if they were the real deal or not, but… you couldn't be able to pull off a disguise as them, right?

"Paris," London turned to her colleague, "if what I'm thinking is right, the only people who could fit into a wig would be someone with short hair. No one here, I assume, has a bald cap lying around, do they?"

The crowd mumbled their agreements.

London nodded. "So, Bonnefoy, the only person who could've fit in it had short hair that you could easily fit into a wig without the need of a bald cap. However, it wouldn't have fit on just right, so they would've needed to adjust and readjust it multiple times, correct?"

Paris thought, then nodded. "Yes, I believe that's right."

"So, our criminal is one with short hair." The British woman turned to the crowd, making them all ignore the sudden opening and closing of the door. "Many of you have short hair. But, there are other things that could knock you off our list of suspects." She continued pacing. "You must be a female, with a… generous chest size. Your hair can't be too thick. You also must be of an average to a little below average height. Your skin must also be pale." London turned to Paris again. "Can you think of anyone who fits the bill?"

"All I can think of is Ukraine, Belgium, Berlin, Oslo, Vilnius, and Amsterdam," Paris said.

London nodded. "Good. Those are our six suspects." She continued pacing once more. "However, we can knock Ukraine off of our list because her chest size is… a little too generous. We can also knock Berlin off because we know Germany has supervised her for most of the day. Oslo punched Norway in the face and went to get him some ice, so she's also clean. Belgium, Vilnius, and Amsterdam are still our prime suspects."

London paced for a few seconds, letting the mystery and thrill fill the air. She knew that was how it was done to spread the feeling of an actual crime; she didn't waste time watching crime shows from America all the way to Japan on the weekends for nothing.

"But, there is still one suspect." She smiled. "Could Venice please join me on the stage?"

Nothing happened. Everyone muttered and looked around for signs of the Italian girl, but nothing. She wasn't in the crowd.

London's smile widened. "You see, Venice shouldn't have been here. Italy is at home, sick as a dog, and poor Venice is stuck there taking care of him until he gets better. Our last interviewee was her, Venice, in the flesh."

Everyone was confused. If Italy was at home sick, how could Venice be here at the meeting?

"You see, she was who our criminal was disguised as," London explained. "Our suspects - Belgium, Vilnius, and Amsterdam - are all here today. It could be any one of them. But, let me tell you something; that isn't true. I know who the criminal is. Our culprit, the Jewelry Thief, is-"

**_-CD has been ejected-_**

Sorry, guys. Me, the narrator, would like to continue the story, but you're going to have to wait until next week.

Actually, I could just continue playing the CD and let you finish it, but that's boring. Peace~!


End file.
